Watch the news and all you will hear about are politicians selling senate seats, 10 million people living on unemployment, our country in recession, mothers killing their babies and very rich white men in suits looking for taxpayer bailouts because they badly mismanaged their industries. But if you watch the news at 10:59pm or 11:59pm, you will surely here stories about how Pirates are taking over the high seas.
These low life scum are ship hopping, kidnapping and scaring the bejesus out of cruise goers looking for a nice relaxing trip up and down the Arabian Sea. Is this really happening? When I was 9-years-old I was told that Peter Pan would come to save me in case I run into a pirate. When I was 13 I was informed that pirates were just very mediocre baseball players. I'm not totally convinced real pirates really exist. My gut just tells me there are just a bunch of crazed Johnny Depp fans looking to be extras in his next movie.
If I ran into a pirate I would them to see credentials. I would need to see at least one of the following things before I'm giving up my wallet...
A. An Eye Patch
B. A Wooden Leg
C. A Talking Parrot
If you can't produce any of those simple pirate things then I'm not giving you any gold....URGH!! Not unless you come aboard the ship on a unicorn.
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