As it an MBA graduate it has become engrained in my psyche to see the world from a business point of view. From entertainment, to the job market and even personal relationships. Everything is based on needs and efficiency in a growing marketplace. However there is one changing element of the business landscape that I’m still trying to digest. It’s an area that I profess to know very little about but I’m fascinated by its development. This part of business is called, shopping.
The evolution of shopping is quite elementary. People need things, businesses supply them for a cost and there is a mutual satisfaction in a transaction. Buyer has product that they need and business hopefully makes a profit. Despite the booming technology (i.e. E-commerce) and the large industrial revolution of the early 1800’s, we can still not perfect the efficiency of the supermarket experience.
There are few causes of this inefficiency. They are as follows, bad technologies, slow express lanes (See the oxymoron?), self-checkouts that need’s multiple clerks to oversee thus eliminating the “self-checkout” option and overall stupidity of common folks. Let’s explore these inefficiencies.
Let’s start with technologies. What is the deal with credit card signature pads? Can’t anyone get this thing right? Firstly, you have to slide your card strip down the right way. On the surface it seems like an easy task but inevitably the card is never slid in the right direction. You got to turn it right side up, upside down, laces out…Just crazy. Whatever happened to the days of customer service when the clerk spares you the aggravation and slides your card themselves? Why do they sense the need to get us involved in our own transaction. As if the card slide is not enough to exasperate ourselves, we are now asked to sign our signature into a box. I ask, what is the point? It’s not that you are saving paper because you get a receipt in the end anyway. I feel like I’m in the middle of doing an etch-a-sketch with this signature pad. What’s worse is when you can’t even see your name in the box? Is it bad etiquette to ask for a redo? Why am I so un-nerved in the middle of purchasing my groceries?
Next is the Express Lanes (aka 10 items or less). Why is it that these are always the slowest moving lane? Why do I always find myself saying “This transaction would have been faster in the slower lanes?” Part of the issue is the clerk always getting into your business. Such as the guy in front of me who has a basket with flowers, wine and condoms. The clerk says to the customer “big night huh?” Then I come up to the checkout with a bottle of ketchup, a bag of Fritos and some lemonade and the clerk says “So you must be single?” I said “You can tell that from what I am purchasing?” She says “No, I can tell because you’re ugly.” Anyway I digress. Then there is always the person who feels entitled to bring more than 15 items into the express lane. I have a new law for these ingrates. If you get behind a person who has exceeded their checkout limit then you have the right to spit on their produce.
The Self-Checkout seems like a good theory in principle. Let us find a way to get rid of cheap labor and still aggravate our loyal costumers. The Self-Checkout is good because you have no clerks prying into your love life like those express aisle clerks but why do I always get the machine with the attitude problem. “Please remove items from scale and rescan.” I did that!!! “Please see Clerk” What? Isn’t this what I was trying to avoid in the first place damit!!
Then there are simply stupid people all over the market. You know who you are? People wasting my time with coupons and stuff. Should I just say that I hate the concept of coupons? Here’s a thought Mr. ShopRite, save money on printing coupons, quit wasting my time and give everyone the same low price. I understand the ploy. Give someone a coupon and make them feel like they are saving. But we all know that they aren’t saving. They are only getting the true value. In reality, you are overcharging people because we are to busy to clip coupons. Coupons are slowing down our express lines.
In addition to stupid people and their coupons are the people who hold up our lines because they thought a loaf of bread was $1.99 when the scanner says $2.29. Therefore we are waiting 5 minutes so this putz can save 29 cents. Furthermore, there are way too many kids in the market. These whiney brats are running around crying because their mom won’t buy them Lucky Charms. You know what I say to that? “Get a job kid.” As for the parents I say “You saved money with coupons now go out and get a sitter.”
Here are 3 solutions to making your supermarket experience more favorable.
Shop at 11pm on a weeknight. It’s obviously less crowded and you can push your cart down an aisle without running over any old people.
Have a spouse as wonderful as my Love Muffin. The good part is she doesn’t mid doing the shopping. The bad part is she buys too much healthy stuff like apples and carrots and stuff.
Shop online. I recognize that shopping online is for lazy people and or disabled people but it’s so much easier.
My problem is mostly with Supermarkets but the truth is that shopping anywhere can be difficult these days. Malls are hectic, outlets are distant and mini-marts are expensive. In 2008, 204 billion dollars exchanged hands in e-commerce shopping. To me it’s the most efficient way to do business. No nerve-racking signature pads, awkward conversations with clerks, annoying people with coupons or even any lines to wait.
The evolution of shopping is quite elementary. People need things, businesses supply them for a cost and there is a mutual satisfaction in a transaction. Buyer has product that they need and business hopefully makes a profit. Despite the booming technology (i.e. E-commerce) and the large industrial revolution of the early 1800’s, we can still not perfect the efficiency of the supermarket experience.
There are few causes of this inefficiency. They are as follows, bad technologies, slow express lanes (See the oxymoron?), self-checkouts that need’s multiple clerks to oversee thus eliminating the “self-checkout” option and overall stupidity of common folks. Let’s explore these inefficiencies.
Let’s start with technologies. What is the deal with credit card signature pads? Can’t anyone get this thing right? Firstly, you have to slide your card strip down the right way. On the surface it seems like an easy task but inevitably the card is never slid in the right direction. You got to turn it right side up, upside down, laces out…Just crazy. Whatever happened to the days of customer service when the clerk spares you the aggravation and slides your card themselves? Why do they sense the need to get us involved in our own transaction. As if the card slide is not enough to exasperate ourselves, we are now asked to sign our signature into a box. I ask, what is the point? It’s not that you are saving paper because you get a receipt in the end anyway. I feel like I’m in the middle of doing an etch-a-sketch with this signature pad. What’s worse is when you can’t even see your name in the box? Is it bad etiquette to ask for a redo? Why am I so un-nerved in the middle of purchasing my groceries?
Next is the Express Lanes (aka 10 items or less). Why is it that these are always the slowest moving lane? Why do I always find myself saying “This transaction would have been faster in the slower lanes?” Part of the issue is the clerk always getting into your business. Such as the guy in front of me who has a basket with flowers, wine and condoms. The clerk says to the customer “big night huh?” Then I come up to the checkout with a bottle of ketchup, a bag of Fritos and some lemonade and the clerk says “So you must be single?” I said “You can tell that from what I am purchasing?” She says “No, I can tell because you’re ugly.” Anyway I digress. Then there is always the person who feels entitled to bring more than 15 items into the express lane. I have a new law for these ingrates. If you get behind a person who has exceeded their checkout limit then you have the right to spit on their produce.
The Self-Checkout seems like a good theory in principle. Let us find a way to get rid of cheap labor and still aggravate our loyal costumers. The Self-Checkout is good because you have no clerks prying into your love life like those express aisle clerks but why do I always get the machine with the attitude problem. “Please remove items from scale and rescan.” I did that!!! “Please see Clerk” What? Isn’t this what I was trying to avoid in the first place damit!!
Then there are simply stupid people all over the market. You know who you are? People wasting my time with coupons and stuff. Should I just say that I hate the concept of coupons? Here’s a thought Mr. ShopRite, save money on printing coupons, quit wasting my time and give everyone the same low price. I understand the ploy. Give someone a coupon and make them feel like they are saving. But we all know that they aren’t saving. They are only getting the true value. In reality, you are overcharging people because we are to busy to clip coupons. Coupons are slowing down our express lines.
In addition to stupid people and their coupons are the people who hold up our lines because they thought a loaf of bread was $1.99 when the scanner says $2.29. Therefore we are waiting 5 minutes so this putz can save 29 cents. Furthermore, there are way too many kids in the market. These whiney brats are running around crying because their mom won’t buy them Lucky Charms. You know what I say to that? “Get a job kid.” As for the parents I say “You saved money with coupons now go out and get a sitter.”
Here are 3 solutions to making your supermarket experience more favorable.
Shop at 11pm on a weeknight. It’s obviously less crowded and you can push your cart down an aisle without running over any old people.
Have a spouse as wonderful as my Love Muffin. The good part is she doesn’t mid doing the shopping. The bad part is she buys too much healthy stuff like apples and carrots and stuff.
Shop online. I recognize that shopping online is for lazy people and or disabled people but it’s so much easier.
My problem is mostly with Supermarkets but the truth is that shopping anywhere can be difficult these days. Malls are hectic, outlets are distant and mini-marts are expensive. In 2008, 204 billion dollars exchanged hands in e-commerce shopping. To me it’s the most efficient way to do business. No nerve-racking signature pads, awkward conversations with clerks, annoying people with coupons or even any lines to wait.
