CHEATERS NEVER WIN

CHEATERS NEVER WIN….

In 1990, I was in the 7^th grade. I was about to take an exam in Spanish class when I suddenly realized that I didn’t study nor was I smart enough to wing it. I then composed a cheat sheet that was concealed in the palm of my hand. It was only a few minutes into the exam that Ms. Cohan discovered I was cheating. She then proceeded to call my house and leave a message on the answering machine for my mother. As it turns out, I got home before my mom and erased the message but that’s not the point. The point is that I learned my lesson and made a vow that I would never cheat in anything ever again. This is one of my truest principles to date and despite life’s many temptations; I’ve been pretty satisfied with my record over these past 20 years.

The art of cheating can be evident in almost all facets in life. From card players hiding aces, to celebrities stepping out on their spouses to ballplayers juicing up with steroids, we are living in a society where these offenses are fast becoming an epidemic of society. I believe that when I am a father one day, I would want my children to have someone to look up too. In my own life, I have looked up to my own father as guide to living an honorable life. I recognize that like most people he has made mistakes and had regrets but he never waivered in pursuit of cheating. As he will often admit, he always took the long road in maintain his integrity. Anything less may have tainted my view.

In the last few years I’ve been terribly disappointed with public figures whom have really let me and their fans down. One of my favorite baseball players of all time was Sammy Sosa. I loved everything about him. He came across as a likable guy from the Dominican Republic. He played 18-years in the MLB, many of them with the Cubs. In 1998, he was in the news for his chasing of the Roger Maris single-season homerun record. He was the guy who I couldn’t wait to tell my kids about. Then in June, 2003 he severed his bat in a game against the Tampa Rays. Inside the bat an umpire found cork, which is illegal in baseball as it gives the player an un fair hitting advantage. It is the ultimate cheat-sheet for baseball players and Sammy showed little remorse. As the years continued, he was the center of focus in many allegations about MLB players using drug enhancements to give them unfair power. This tarnished his reputation and lowered my appreciation of his talent. I could never present him as a person that I would want my child to look up too anymore.

I dislike cheaters because I view celebrities as role models. Many celebrities have not embraced their status in society as role models. I feel like it’s their unspoken obligation. You chose to be in a profession where millions of dollars and millions of fans have a vested interest in your success. When people pay lots of money to see you perform in a sporting event, a movie or running our government, we hold you to a higher standard. This is why Charles Barkley’s “I am not a role model” statement in 1993 didn’t work for me. Barkley is one of the top NBA players of his time but he felt that "A million guys can dunk a basketball in jail; should they be role models?" My rhetorical reply is, of course not because guys in jail aren’t getting paid millions of dollars for their talent. My feeling is that Barkley is cheating his fans of lessons that can be learned. He lives his life making decisions that can often be detrimental to his reputation but has very little regard for the consequences as he doesn’t believe he should be raising our children. In reality he is right that parents should be teaching their children true values of life but as much as I love Charles Barkley (the player + the NBA personality), I could never have my children look up to him buts that’s ok because it is how he wants it anyway.

In the early 2000’s I became more interested in politics. I really didn’t have a party affiliation. My only goal was to actively watch politicians from all parties and throw my support behind someone I can believe. In 2004 that person became John Kerry. In reality my vote for Kerry was less about him and more about his running mate, John Edwards. At the time, Edwards was a 51-year-old former Senator from North Carolina. He had a compelling message about how divided America was in terms of wealth and poverty. His message had validity and credibility as he grew up from modest means. We all recall his stories of childhood. He was the son of a saw mill worker, he was the first in his family to go to college, he went on to get a law degree, married his college sweetheart and began a family. Then in 1996 tragedy struck. His 18-year-old son was killed in an automobile accident. It was the kind of story that pulls at your heartstrings. To make Edwards story sadder, his wife was diagnosed with Stage IV breast cancer. I really found myself not only cheering for his policies but also hoping for better outcomes in his families misfortunes. Although his bid to become VP in 2004 failed, I supported him early into his 2008 campaign for the presidency.

But then he cheated.

Some guys have slipped up and cheated on their wives. It’s a natural inclination to be attracted to more than one person in life. It’s just not natural to act upon those attractions. He not only acted on it but he hid it from the public and he even had the audacity to procreate with the woman with whom he cheated. I admit that I bailed on his campaign for presidency before this news surfaced but my bailing had more to do with my strong opinions for another candidate then it did about Edwards private life. In other words, I had still highly admired and respected John Edwards. He seemed classy, genuine and caring in his pursuit of solving our national poverty issues. Now my opinion of him has changed as he is a manipulative & cocky man who cheated on his cancer-stricken wife. To think he could have been our US Vice President or even US President has me both angered and disappointed.

My last example of a person whom I will not speak highly of when I have my own children is Tiger Woods. We are familiar with his story. A prodigy of golf who has 14 major tournaments wins, made over 110 million dollars last year and has more endorsements then any other athlete in the world. He has transcended the game of golf and is has accomplished more by age 33 then most people do in a lifetime. He is a true sense of an anomaly and is worshipped by men, women and children around the world. As it is true that he allegedly cheated on his wife, the stories that are now surfacing have become even more disappointing. The number of mistresses is enough to fill a professional baseball roster. I recognize much is hearsay at this point but the fact that these relationships took place the day his children were born and father passed away are even more disturbing. It gives the perception that there was no compassion or regard for anyone but himself. Cheating on your spouse is a terrible thing; it is possible for a slipup. But to cheat on your wife, with more than one gal, over a period of three years, while your wife is bearing your children is not only irresponsible but in my opinion tarnishes your public image to the point were it is simply irrevocable.

Maybe it’s my own tunnel vision but I have a difficult time separating the accomplishments of public figures from their ill-advised choices in cheating. It’s not for me to judge based on media reports and accusations but I chose to believe in the principle of where there is smoke there is fire. In the case of Sammy Sosa there was a physical bat with a cork. In the case of John Edwards there is picture of him in a hotel at 2am holding a baby, in the case of Tiger Woods there is his own admission of transgressions. In my own case, there is a cheat-sheet floating around with a bunch of Spanish written on it.

There is no honor, loyalty and respect for others anymore. If I were running for public office, one of my fundamental goals would be gaining the public trust. I wouldn’t accomplish this by sleeping with hookers, visiting my Argentinean mistress or having a lovechild with my campaign videographer. If I was blessed with awesome athletic skills, I would not only be proud to put it on display in front of millions of fans, I would also be the best role model my sport has to offer because I recognize people put a lot of faith and money into my career. There is a moral obligation that you must live by that is represented by fame and fortune. These are the values that I learned from my own father, cheaters never win and winners never cheat.