2009 IN MY BRAIN

2009 What a Year

I love this time of year because it’s an opportunity to look back and review everything that has gone right and wrong in the last year of our decade. Every news show on TV today has their own reviews; many of them are closing out the decade by sharing all the things that made our first decade of this millennium so special.

It’s amazing to reflect on my decade. I graduated college, had 4 successful careers (two of which were 2 years or more), had many girls enter and exit my life, met my wife (who will hopefully not exit), got married, owned 3 different cars, lived in 5 different addresses, bought my very first home, lost some loved ones (including my grandma Betty) and I hopefully made the difference in the lives of people who I care deeply about. I feel like I matured, I’ve made my family proud and I’ve encouraged people to look at the world in unconventional ways.

I am putting my own spin on what has occurred in 2009. Please take this journey with me.

THE YEAR IN MUSIC

Without having all the facts, which is what’s nice about having a blog as opposed to professional column, I will say that 2009 was a big year for Lady Gaga, Adam Lambert, Katy Perry, The Killers, Alicia Keyes and Coldplay to name a few.

It was not such a good year for pop sensation Rianna, who was sadly physically abused by her boyfriend, Chris Brown. Brown, who apparently has musical talent that missed my radar screen, had more hit punches than hit records in 2009 and should be forever banned from ever performing again. Honestly, I hope he gets blackballed. Our children need role models to look up too. As for Rianna, she is now more famous than ever and she can actually sing a little bit too.

It was also a good year for Taylor Swift. Up until the point where her accomplishments were interrupted by Kanye West on the MTV Video Music Award Show. He ended up looking like the worlds biggest jackass and Taylor Swift has since sold over 3.6 million albums. Plus she is dating teenage vampire heartthrob Lucas Till, which has become the envy of every vampire tween in America.

Then there was Susan Boyle. Never in our lifetime has an individual been so revered for having the unique qualities of both singing and being ugly at the same time. Usually those combinations are hard to find. With her beautiful soothing voice and her constant repeat performances of the “Les Miserable” classic “I Dreamed a Dream.” It’s amazing how she memorizes every word and manages it to stay in tune every though she remains being attractively-challenged. She now has a new album out called “Wild Horses.” Let’s see how she tackles original songs.

Then there were the razzy pop tunes that can’t escape our minds in “09”. My personal favorite was “My Life Would Suck without You” by Kelly Clarkson. Not only because I have a secret crush for The Clarkster but because I think the song is rather funny, catchy and different than much of the other blah songs I hear on radio. Then there was Miley Cyrus and that melodic song about climbing mountains. Truth be told I think she is TERRIBLE actress and simply an ok singer. It doesn’t mean I can’t appreciate the value of her songs being real karaoke pleasures. Then of course we can’t help dancing to the Black Eyed Peas “I Gotta Feeling.” Even when things looked bleak in 2009, I always had a feeling that “today was gonna be a good day.” Can’t wait to hear what 2010 brings to my ears.

Of course the biggest story in music of 2009 and perhaps of the entire decade was the death of Michael Jackson. You can read my blog from back in June to get my true reflections of Michael Jackson the man but from a strictly musical perspective, there has never been anyone more captivating then Americas favorite boy-lover. When it comes to true geniuses of music, you have the great composers (i.e. Mozart, Bach, and Handel). Then you have the soothing voice of Frank Sinatra, and then of course the King of Rock, Elis Presley, who oddly will always be connected to the King of Pop, Michael Jackson, if for no other reason then the daughter of Elvis was briefly married to Michael Jackson.

There was wall to wall coverage of Jackson’s death, which included helicopters tracking his body being transported to the coroner, followed by allegations of physician mistreatments, followed by the parading of his children during the tribute concert. We also had radios, television stations and even jail cells immortalizing, imitating and replaying his many hit records. Michael Jackson was creepy but interesting, enigmatic and of course controversial but he also reshaped and redefined the way we listen to pop music today.

THE YEAR IN POLITICS

Unless you’ve been living under a rock, we have inaugurated a new president. His name is Barack Obama and guess what? He’s black. Guess what else? He is Muslim and he wasn’t even born in America. Even though he has presented his birth certificate and two forms of ID to every looney toon birther in Hicksville America. He is also a Democrat, which means he wasn’t associating himself with Muslim extremists until after he beat out Hilary Clinton for the party nomination in 2008.

I don’t want to dive too deeply into his politics but I will say it’s been a busy year. Much of it was spent trying to overturn many of the poor policies of the last 8-years. Yes I recognize my statement be seem hypocritical but I can at least acknowledge that George Bush was born in America and isn’t a Muslim fundamentalist. The new president has spent the last year spending. Literally, he has bailed out banks, car manufacturers and the housing industry. Whether you agree or disagree with his philosophy, the truth is our economy is back to recovery. He is also the first president to get healthcare reform passed. Once again, you can agree or disagree with the components of the bill but the bottom-line is no other president has done this…ever. So 2009 was quite an eventful year for the Obama’s. They also got a dog and planted an organic garden. Did I mention Obama also ordered the Navy to shoot down some Somali pirates? Not a bad 1^st year for a socialist, communist, fascist with the middle name of Hussein. Oh yea, he also won a peace prize this year. Suck on that America.

Meanwhile, in the politics as usual department, my old pal John Edwards was on Oprah denying that he is babies’ daddy even though the child has his perfectly wavy hair. Also, more statesmen revealed their infidelities, including the governor of South Carolina, Marc Sanford, who clearly has an appetite for women in the Appalachian Trails.

In the sad political news of 2009, we saw the imminent death of a Kennedy. Fortunately this one was not caused by a bullet or faulty helicopter. This was due to an incurable cancer of the brain, which in reality was sad and devastating as Edward Kennedy was the true “lion” of the senate. He was well-respected from both sides of the aisle. He was the last great Kennedy and was pretty instrumental in helping Barack get elected in 2008.

THE YEAR IN SPORTS

There is only so much you can say in sports. There was the thrill of victory and the agony of defeat. There were no underdog champions in the 4 professional sport championships. Steelers beat the Cardinals for their 6^th overall NFL Super Bowl, which is the most in the leagues history. Yankees won their 27^th World Series, which is also the most in their leagues history. Proving that money can truly buy championships. The Lakers won their 15^th title. Although they’ve appeared in more NBA finals than any other team in the league. Lastly we saw the Penguins hoist the cup for the 3^rd time in 20 years.

The true fun was watching the journey of sports throughout 2009. Brett Favre’s retirement versus unretirement fluctuated more than Kristie Alleys body weight. The year 2009 also became the year Michael Vick demonstrated courage (according to his teammates) and Michael Phelps did not demonstrate restrain when it came to bonging it up. Alex Rodriguez and Manny Ramirez continued to taint steroid usage in baseball and Lance Armstrong gave it one more try on the French circuit to no avail.

It also was the year that Serena Williams got mouthy with a referee and Plaxico Burress gets to spend time in prison where guns don’t accidentally go off in your pants, unless you share a cell with Bubba, if you know what I mean. Lebron is still the greatest human being to ever touch a basketball in my lifetime and the one guy faster than a bolt is actually named Hussein Bolt.

Then there were sports stars acting inappropriately. There were sex scandals surrounding Steve Philips, Rick Pitino and Tiger Woods. I should clarify that all these scandals were not inter-related. I will say that Tigers demise was perhaps the worst on many levels.

Tiger has been the darling of golf since he graced the stages of late night television at age 3. He was a prodigy of the sport and perhaps the greatest sales tool for Nike and a plethora of other products. Until that one day Tiger realized he should get married. That one decision proved to be the worst of his life. Its ok to be a celebrity slut and sleep with every gal you can find (see Leonardo DiCaprio and Justin Timberlake). But the only reason these guys can pull this behavior off with such grace is because…. (Drum roll please… They are not married. Plus they are Hollywood actors so sleeping around with other actresses is perfectly acceptable in that circle. So this was the year that we found out that a Tiger is really a Cheetah and maybe his best bet of avoiding embarrassment and scrutiny is to be like Hollywood and stick to his own kind. Next time he should live it up with Paula Creamer instead of some cocktail waitress media whore.

Then there was the story of ESPN reporter Erin Andrews. It was one of the oddest things I’ve ever encountered. There is no doubt that every guys desire to see hear naked but under her own wishes. One peeping Tom made this possible by videoing her without her consent through her hotel peephole. Although these pictures were available on every trashy website, guys around the world banded together in an unspoken code of honor and decided that by viewing these pictures were committing a crime ourselves. I too showed restraint. I would have only looked at a naked Erin Andrews if that was her intent. I’m not that big of a scumbag. Besides she is not just a pretty gal, she is actually a really terrific reporter. I just hope that Tony Siragusa is not stalked in his hotel room in 2010.

In sports we lost a few notables. It’s hard to imagine baseball without hearing the great voice of Harry Kalas but even if you don’t watch the Phillies, his voice was as recognizable as John Facenda in the NFL Films productions. He also voiced the Chunky soup and Super Pretzel commercials. He is not only a Philadelphia sports icon but in my opinion an American treasure. Kalas was 73-years-old. The sports world also lost two young athletes. Most recently was Bengals WR, Chris Henry. After many years of battling legal troubles for assault, drugs and DUI, it finally appeared as though his life was coming back into focus. He was playing real well for the Bengals and staying out of trouble. He then accidentally fell out of a moving truck and died the next morning at age 26. We also mourned the loss of Nick Adenhart. He was a promising young pitcher for the LA Angels when his fate dealt him another hand. He happened to be on the wrong street at the wrong time when he was struck by a drunk driver. Adenhart was only 23-years-old. Two athletes who left us way too early.

2009 TV & MOVIES

This was a big year for Vampire movies, Super Hero movies and Reality television. Seems as though we are hung up about Jon and Kate and we also loved seeing shows about big families (from a quantitative perspective and from a weight perspective).

HBO followed up The Sopranos and an aging Entourage show with new hip shows like True Blood and Hung. This adds to their already hit collection of Big Love and of course Curb Your Enthusiasm, which came out strong in 2009 with the entire Seinfeld cast.

There were a lot of swarthy movies like Angels and Demons and a cheeky mockumentary called Bruno, which toed the line of decency but the biggest surprise hit of 2009 was The Hangover, which managed to tie sophomoric humor together in a way that can even satisfy the middle aged audience.

The big new shows of the year included, Mad Men, Glee and Flash Forward and we said goodbye to TV treasures like Monk and Without a Trace.

It appears that the Oscars are dealing with the task of choosing from movies like Up In The Air, Inglourious Bastards and Invictus. Ironically the three stars (Clooney, Pitt and Damon) all starred together in the Oceans movies. Wonder if they’ll all be seated together on Oscar night?

The big news was the lost of many of Hollywood’s talent. Veteran actor David Carradine died in an awkward and embarrassing matter and then came Patrick Swayze, who is now reprising his role of Ghost. Natasha Richardson tragically died in a skiing accident and Brittany Murphy collapsed at age 32. We also lost TV news legend Walter Cronkite. It was a tough year to be a celebrity. The toughest death may have been watching Jon Travolta and wife Kelly Preston deal with the sudden loss of their teenage son while in the Bahamas.

YEAR IN POP CULTURE

One of my favorite stories was the downfall of Miss California, Carrie Prejean. Who knew that so much controversy can come from being anti-gay beauty contestant? Her reply to the gay beauty judge, Perez Hilton, set off a firestorm that netted her time on nearly every media outlet. She needed to answer to sex tapes, admit her boob job and she even had the audacity to call Larry King inappropriate for no particular reason. I’m not saying that Perez Hilton behaved any better. I just find it fascinating that people care more about a witless bimbo. In 2008, the elephants found Joe the Plumber then in 2009 the followed up with Carrie the anti-gay symbol.

Next we have the great perils of Jon and Kate Gosselin. Anybody who has watched their show the past few years could have seen a divorce from a mile away. Poor Jon had to father 8 children before he figured it out himself. What ensued was a selfish Kate who cared more about the show itself and its subsequent pay, which kept her from working a real job then she cared about her children’s unhealthy TV exposures and ultimately children. For Jon it meant a new found freedom to hook up with every party gal in sight and instead of living in a place near his family’s home in PA, he instead opted for a party pad in New York City. Neither Jon nor Kate is deserving of a parent of the year trophies.

We also had David Letterman who was being extorted thus forcing him to admit his infidelities in front of millions of his late night fans. The fact remains his affairs were with office staffers, which made him look very creepy but yet somehow cool too. I’m just wondering if Paul Shaffer is shagging anyone in the band.

Then we had the Swine Flu take flight around the world. It is factual that people did indeed die from the communicable disease but it’s also very true that more people die from the common flu we get every year. All this swine coverage did was put panic across every person with a mild everyday cough. I believe I had the Swine flu 6 times this year.

It was cured with a drop of cough syrup.

VILLIANS OF 2009

First we have Bernie Madoff. What a guy!! Because of him the Baby Boomers can no longer retire early. His ponzi scheme stole over 13 billion dollars from his clients. It bought him 150+ years in a federal prison and he is possibly the more hated than most indicated felons. Those felons have negatively affected the lives of a few people. Madoff selfishly destroyed the lives of thousands of investors and he’ll never see the light of the day again.

I also want to nominate Rush Limbaugh, Glenn Beck, Dick Cheney and Sean Hannity as villains. They are villains not because they are Republicans. I actually like many Republican commentators (Amy Holmes, Mike Murphy, and Todd Harris). Hek, I vote for almost every republican in the state races. The problem is that the aforementioned individuals will never compromise nor acknowledge a single good policy issue if it was introduced by a democrat. I recognize the twist side to the argument is there are people (i.e. Ed Shultz and Keith Olbermann and Air America) who do the same thing when republicans are in office. My point is that politics has become very divisive in our country, especially in 2009. It’s been impossible to agree on anything anymore. I feel like the villains are the talking heads of the opposing party, who want to revolt by denigration our leadership, hosting TEA (Taxed Enough Parties) and completely polarizing our country. They want to scar our thoughts to the point where they would criticize an opposing party for the way they kill fly’s or even show too much affection when meeting the queen. These “drive by media types” openly wish that our leadership “fails.” It’s hard to imagine this will change in 2010 but let’s hope our media voices can acknowledge success instead of praying for failure.

HEROS of 2009

Every year needs a few superheroes that don’t wear capes or spin webs. Its ordinary people who do extraordinary things.

On January 15^th, 2009, we were all awestruck and captivated by the images of the US Airways flight sitting on top of the Hudson River. There were 130+ passengers huddled on the wings waiting to be rescued by New York Ferry system. The cause of this incident was due to a “double bird strike,” which ironically is what I use when cursing slow drivers on my way to work each morning. A hero emerged named Captain Sully. It’s undeniable that he was cool under pressure and averted a far superior fate. The truth is that if even one person had died then Sully and hero would never be eternally tied together. My problem is that most passengers praised his landing. I may be a minority here but you know what kind of airline pilots I praise? Ones that land on runways. I mean these poor people probably didn’t even get their airline miles as they fell short of their intended destination.

The last hero is David Goldman. I recognize his story begins in 2004 but the ending came just a few short weeks ago. This New Jersey native began a dream life by marrying a Brazilian model, having a son and joylessly sharing his love for them. Then in 2004, his wife left for a 2-week trip to Brazil to visit family with her son. A few days after she arrived, she informed her husband that she is no longer in love with him, wants a divorce and is keeping her son in Brazil. This would be every father’s nightmare. In the eyes of Brazilian law, a divorce was completed and she eventually she remarried a prominent lawyer. David’s pursuit to ever gain custody of his son seemed impossible until karma played an integral role.

Last year, his now ex-wife, died giving birth to her first child with the prominent lawyer. David felt this was the break in law that he needed. He was now the only living biological parent of Sean and he felt as though the custody would be an open and shut case. It was not as easy as one thought. Brazilian courts continued to rule in favor of the step father and this battle seemed to be a very frustrating case for me to personally comprehend on its merit. Why wouldn’t this kid be returned home? As the story turns out, courts eventually ruled on the side of logic and after 5 years of separation, 14 visits to Brazil and $400,000 in lawyer fees / missed work time / flights / food etc. My personal opinion is that David Goldman deserves to be the father of the year. In an age where women usually get the benefit in most custody battles, it’s nice to see a father do everything in his power to deservingly gain custody of the child, who should have never been taken nor kept from his for this long.

WHATS IN STORE FOR 2010

So 2010 will undoubtedly bring a new flavors and new innovations to our world. It’s tough to make any bold predictions but we can certainly surmise new stories of our US Winter Olympians, we can pray for the safe return of our men and women serving our country admirably, we will see new men and women come into government in the mid-term elections. Here in Pennsylvania, we will be electing a new governor to look over our commonwealth. Speaking of wealth, we anticipate new jobs and a recovery in our economic system. We will discover new and bright talent in the things that entertain us. We hope that we can all be concerned citizens and find energy efficient ways to preserve our environment. We can hope for new technologies to not only improve our everyday lives but to also improve our health and wellness. Happy New Year to everyone reading my blog and I hope 2010 brings joy to you and your family.

CHEATERS NEVER WIN

CHEATERS NEVER WIN….

In 1990, I was in the 7^th grade. I was about to take an exam in Spanish class when I suddenly realized that I didn’t study nor was I smart enough to wing it. I then composed a cheat sheet that was concealed in the palm of my hand. It was only a few minutes into the exam that Ms. Cohan discovered I was cheating. She then proceeded to call my house and leave a message on the answering machine for my mother. As it turns out, I got home before my mom and erased the message but that’s not the point. The point is that I learned my lesson and made a vow that I would never cheat in anything ever again. This is one of my truest principles to date and despite life’s many temptations; I’ve been pretty satisfied with my record over these past 20 years.

The art of cheating can be evident in almost all facets in life. From card players hiding aces, to celebrities stepping out on their spouses to ballplayers juicing up with steroids, we are living in a society where these offenses are fast becoming an epidemic of society. I believe that when I am a father one day, I would want my children to have someone to look up too. In my own life, I have looked up to my own father as guide to living an honorable life. I recognize that like most people he has made mistakes and had regrets but he never waivered in pursuit of cheating. As he will often admit, he always took the long road in maintain his integrity. Anything less may have tainted my view.

In the last few years I’ve been terribly disappointed with public figures whom have really let me and their fans down. One of my favorite baseball players of all time was Sammy Sosa. I loved everything about him. He came across as a likable guy from the Dominican Republic. He played 18-years in the MLB, many of them with the Cubs. In 1998, he was in the news for his chasing of the Roger Maris single-season homerun record. He was the guy who I couldn’t wait to tell my kids about. Then in June, 2003 he severed his bat in a game against the Tampa Rays. Inside the bat an umpire found cork, which is illegal in baseball as it gives the player an un fair hitting advantage. It is the ultimate cheat-sheet for baseball players and Sammy showed little remorse. As the years continued, he was the center of focus in many allegations about MLB players using drug enhancements to give them unfair power. This tarnished his reputation and lowered my appreciation of his talent. I could never present him as a person that I would want my child to look up too anymore.

I dislike cheaters because I view celebrities as role models. Many celebrities have not embraced their status in society as role models. I feel like it’s their unspoken obligation. You chose to be in a profession where millions of dollars and millions of fans have a vested interest in your success. When people pay lots of money to see you perform in a sporting event, a movie or running our government, we hold you to a higher standard. This is why Charles Barkley’s “I am not a role model” statement in 1993 didn’t work for me. Barkley is one of the top NBA players of his time but he felt that "A million guys can dunk a basketball in jail; should they be role models?" My rhetorical reply is, of course not because guys in jail aren’t getting paid millions of dollars for their talent. My feeling is that Barkley is cheating his fans of lessons that can be learned. He lives his life making decisions that can often be detrimental to his reputation but has very little regard for the consequences as he doesn’t believe he should be raising our children. In reality he is right that parents should be teaching their children true values of life but as much as I love Charles Barkley (the player + the NBA personality), I could never have my children look up to him buts that’s ok because it is how he wants it anyway.

In the early 2000’s I became more interested in politics. I really didn’t have a party affiliation. My only goal was to actively watch politicians from all parties and throw my support behind someone I can believe. In 2004 that person became John Kerry. In reality my vote for Kerry was less about him and more about his running mate, John Edwards. At the time, Edwards was a 51-year-old former Senator from North Carolina. He had a compelling message about how divided America was in terms of wealth and poverty. His message had validity and credibility as he grew up from modest means. We all recall his stories of childhood. He was the son of a saw mill worker, he was the first in his family to go to college, he went on to get a law degree, married his college sweetheart and began a family. Then in 1996 tragedy struck. His 18-year-old son was killed in an automobile accident. It was the kind of story that pulls at your heartstrings. To make Edwards story sadder, his wife was diagnosed with Stage IV breast cancer. I really found myself not only cheering for his policies but also hoping for better outcomes in his families misfortunes. Although his bid to become VP in 2004 failed, I supported him early into his 2008 campaign for the presidency.

But then he cheated.

Some guys have slipped up and cheated on their wives. It’s a natural inclination to be attracted to more than one person in life. It’s just not natural to act upon those attractions. He not only acted on it but he hid it from the public and he even had the audacity to procreate with the woman with whom he cheated. I admit that I bailed on his campaign for presidency before this news surfaced but my bailing had more to do with my strong opinions for another candidate then it did about Edwards private life. In other words, I had still highly admired and respected John Edwards. He seemed classy, genuine and caring in his pursuit of solving our national poverty issues. Now my opinion of him has changed as he is a manipulative & cocky man who cheated on his cancer-stricken wife. To think he could have been our US Vice President or even US President has me both angered and disappointed.

My last example of a person whom I will not speak highly of when I have my own children is Tiger Woods. We are familiar with his story. A prodigy of golf who has 14 major tournaments wins, made over 110 million dollars last year and has more endorsements then any other athlete in the world. He has transcended the game of golf and is has accomplished more by age 33 then most people do in a lifetime. He is a true sense of an anomaly and is worshipped by men, women and children around the world. As it is true that he allegedly cheated on his wife, the stories that are now surfacing have become even more disappointing. The number of mistresses is enough to fill a professional baseball roster. I recognize much is hearsay at this point but the fact that these relationships took place the day his children were born and father passed away are even more disturbing. It gives the perception that there was no compassion or regard for anyone but himself. Cheating on your spouse is a terrible thing; it is possible for a slipup. But to cheat on your wife, with more than one gal, over a period of three years, while your wife is bearing your children is not only irresponsible but in my opinion tarnishes your public image to the point were it is simply irrevocable.

Maybe it’s my own tunnel vision but I have a difficult time separating the accomplishments of public figures from their ill-advised choices in cheating. It’s not for me to judge based on media reports and accusations but I chose to believe in the principle of where there is smoke there is fire. In the case of Sammy Sosa there was a physical bat with a cork. In the case of John Edwards there is picture of him in a hotel at 2am holding a baby, in the case of Tiger Woods there is his own admission of transgressions. In my own case, there is a cheat-sheet floating around with a bunch of Spanish written on it.

There is no honor, loyalty and respect for others anymore. If I were running for public office, one of my fundamental goals would be gaining the public trust. I wouldn’t accomplish this by sleeping with hookers, visiting my Argentinean mistress or having a lovechild with my campaign videographer. If I was blessed with awesome athletic skills, I would not only be proud to put it on display in front of millions of fans, I would also be the best role model my sport has to offer because I recognize people put a lot of faith and money into my career. There is a moral obligation that you must live by that is represented by fame and fortune. These are the values that I learned from my own father, cheaters never win and winners never cheat.

Why I'd rather shop online

As it an MBA graduate it has become engrained in my psyche to see the world from a business point of view. From entertainment, to the job market and even personal relationships. Everything is based on needs and efficiency in a growing marketplace. However there is one changing element of the business landscape that I’m still trying to digest. It’s an area that I profess to know very little about but I’m fascinated by its development. This part of business is called, shopping.

The evolution of shopping is quite elementary. People need things, businesses supply them for a cost and there is a mutual satisfaction in a transaction. Buyer has product that they need and business hopefully makes a profit. Despite the booming technology (i.e. E-commerce) and the large industrial revolution of the early 1800’s, we can still not perfect the efficiency of the supermarket experience.

There are few causes of this inefficiency. They are as follows, bad technologies, slow express lanes (See the oxymoron?), self-checkouts that need’s multiple clerks to oversee thus eliminating the “self-checkout” option and overall stupidity of common folks. Let’s explore these inefficiencies.

Let’s start with technologies. What is the deal with credit card signature pads? Can’t anyone get this thing right? Firstly, you have to slide your card strip down the right way. On the surface it seems like an easy task but inevitably the card is never slid in the right direction. You got to turn it right side up, upside down, laces out…Just crazy. Whatever happened to the days of customer service when the clerk spares you the aggravation and slides your card themselves? Why do they sense the need to get us involved in our own transaction. As if the card slide is not enough to exasperate ourselves, we are now asked to sign our signature into a box. I ask, what is the point? It’s not that you are saving paper because you get a receipt in the end anyway. I feel like I’m in the middle of doing an etch-a-sketch with this signature pad. What’s worse is when you can’t even see your name in the box? Is it bad etiquette to ask for a redo? Why am I so un-nerved in the middle of purchasing my groceries?

Next is the Express Lanes (aka 10 items or less). Why is it that these are always the slowest moving lane? Why do I always find myself saying “This transaction would have been faster in the slower lanes?” Part of the issue is the clerk always getting into your business. Such as the guy in front of me who has a basket with flowers, wine and condoms. The clerk says to the customer “big night huh?” Then I come up to the checkout with a bottle of ketchup, a bag of Fritos and some lemonade and the clerk says “So you must be single?” I said “You can tell that from what I am purchasing?” She says “No, I can tell because you’re ugly.” Anyway I digress. Then there is always the person who feels entitled to bring more than 15 items into the express lane. I have a new law for these ingrates. If you get behind a person who has exceeded their checkout limit then you have the right to spit on their produce.

The Self-Checkout seems like a good theory in principle. Let us find a way to get rid of cheap labor and still aggravate our loyal costumers. The Self-Checkout is good because you have no clerks prying into your love life like those express aisle clerks but why do I always get the machine with the attitude problem. “Please remove items from scale and rescan.” I did that!!! “Please see Clerk” What? Isn’t this what I was trying to avoid in the first place damit!!

Then there are simply stupid people all over the market. You know who you are? People wasting my time with coupons and stuff. Should I just say that I hate the concept of coupons? Here’s a thought Mr. ShopRite, save money on printing coupons, quit wasting my time and give everyone the same low price. I understand the ploy. Give someone a coupon and make them feel like they are saving. But we all know that they aren’t saving. They are only getting the true value. In reality, you are overcharging people because we are to busy to clip coupons. Coupons are slowing down our express lines.

In addition to stupid people and their coupons are the people who hold up our lines because they thought a loaf of bread was $1.99 when the scanner says $2.29. Therefore we are waiting 5 minutes so this putz can save 29 cents. Furthermore, there are way too many kids in the market. These whiney brats are running around crying because their mom won’t buy them Lucky Charms. You know what I say to that? “Get a job kid.” As for the parents I say “You saved money with coupons now go out and get a sitter.”

Here are 3 solutions to making your supermarket experience more favorable.
Shop at 11pm on a weeknight. It’s obviously less crowded and you can push your cart down an aisle without running over any old people.
Have a spouse as wonderful as my Love Muffin. The good part is she doesn’t mid doing the shopping. The bad part is she buys too much healthy stuff like apples and carrots and stuff.
Shop online. I recognize that shopping online is for lazy people and or disabled people but it’s so much easier.

My problem is mostly with Supermarkets but the truth is that shopping anywhere can be difficult these days. Malls are hectic, outlets are distant and mini-marts are expensive. In 2008, 204 billion dollars exchanged hands in e-commerce shopping. To me it’s the most efficient way to do business. No nerve-racking signature pads, awkward conversations with clerks, annoying people with coupons or even any lines to wait.

What do you call an In-Law?

I am approaching my first year of marriage and I admit that it’s taught me a great deal about compromise, compassion and communications. I know that I blogged about it earlier but a new situation has come to the surface and I feel compelled to write about it.

This topic is In-Laws and how they should be addressed. More specifically, what do you call your in-laws? For some of you, the relationship with your in-laws may be considered sour. Therefore coming up with proper names for them may be deemed inappropriate for this family-friendly blog. The true question is what do you call your in-laws whom you have garnished a pretty nice standing relationship.

I recently polled 3 of my buddies who are each early in their marriages. The general consensus is that every situation is unique. For example, my buddy Sean says that his in-laws are separated thus it changes the dynamic of the relationship of each of them. Not even 6 months into his marriage and he calls his father-in-law “Dad..” My other friends, both named Mike, said that conversations never came up and they feel very comfortable calling their in-laws by their first names.

Thus brings up the scenario of when your in-laws request to be called “Mom and Dad.” My initial view is that in everyone’s life that title is smoothly incorporated without a ceremonious occasion. In other words, it should be a natural process that comes without a timestamp. For example, I love my wife but I couldn’t tell you the date and time in which I first uttered “I love you” to her. Nor was there a time in which she requested an “I love you” to be uttered.

The “Mom & Dad” title for in-laws has become an awkward conversation for society, which really doesn’t perceptually recognize the true fondness one may have for an in-law. Just because you don’t call them mom and dad doesn’t mean you feel any less about them and vice versa. In my own family I have a sister-in-law who respects my parents and in some ways adores my parents but she doesn’t loosely refer to them as “Mom and Dad.” Why should she? She has her own mom and dad who raised her, changed her diapers, taught her to swim and put her thru college. It doesn’t mean she doesn’t like my parents. It’s just an awkward greeting for a couple who come into your life by default of a spouse.

Over the past 5-years of courting, dating, proposing and eventually marrying my love muffin, I have come to know my in-laws quite well. It’s been a process for me as they lead a different lifestyle then that of my parents. They are good and decent people and I have no personal objections to calling them “Mom and Dad” at some juncture. I tried practicing in the mirror and it just feels weird. Maybe I need more practice. Maybe I need some trial runs where I mutter it under my breath. Maybe I just need to take my time with it but it’s definitely something that’s been on my mind. The odd dynamic is that calling my wife’s’ Aunts, Uncles and cousins seems to go more naturally for me and also to my friends whom I polled.

Here’s the conundrum. You can always upgrade your in-laws from calling them their first names to “Mom and Dad” but there is no downgrade option. Once you call them Mom and Dad that’s it….no going back. The other thing to consider is my leap of faith with my in-laws if my wife doesn’t reciprocate by calling my parents Mom and Dad. To me it must go both ways.

Honestly, I thought I’d be able to hold off on the name transition until their grandchildren were born but I feel like there is a societal pressure to give due respect to the people who gave birth to the love of your life. I suppose this can be something that can be debated for years to come but calling them something always trumps the old “Hey You.”

WEDDINGS VS MARRIAGES

My love muffin and I are gearing up for our 3^rd wedding in a week. We love weddings. It’s a time to reflect on the love shared by those taking the step in holy matrimony. It’s also a time that we realize how lucky we are that we found “the one.” Weddings are a nice opportunity to dress up, dance a little and enjoy a free meal but lately I feel like weddings have become a mockery. I feel like many couples miss the purpose. Let it be known that I don’t feel that way about the three weddings we are attending in July. This blog isn’t directed to one couple but rather the many couples who don’t take marriages seriously. In a way, I feel like people think marriages and weddings are one of the same. Whereas there are clear differentiations.

Allow me to explain. A wedding is a reception where people overspend, overcompensate and over indulge simply to make more of an individualistic statement as opposed to a cohesive statement of love. Anyone can throw a wedding. Anyone can go out and buy flowers, dresses, priests, banquet halls and flowers but the truth is not all of us can find a deeper sense and purpose in life. As a matter of fact most data shows that nearly 50% of all marriages end in divorce http://www.divorcerate.org/.

There are many reasons why this occurs. They include spiritual, financial, infidelity, personal goals. I am not a clergy nor do I profess to have a degree in human psychology but being a married man myself, I tend to think that marriages end before they even begin. People get caught up in the moment, women are groomed to visualize this day from an early age and eager parents are ready to show off in front of their friends. There is so much fanfare, societal pressure and anticipation that weddings seem like a good idea in principle but they often are contrived performances in a dooming theatrical production.

There is no right or wrong scenario that makes the recipe for a successful marriage. I’ve heard of two people who were each under the age of 20, they dated for 2-months, while they were still in college and didn’t have 2 nickels to rub together. They felt like they were ready for that commitment. That couple recently celebrated their 25^th wedding anniversary. I’ve seen a couple in their late 30’s, with a beautiful home and terrific careers. They got married and divorced in a matter of 3 weeks. Every situation is different but I’ll share with you my own journey as I feel like I really thought things through and considered the ramifications of marriage way before I took those vows in front of 215 friends and family. I admit that we are not the perfect couple but we are the right couple. I strongly believe we followed a plan to ensure our wedding would lead us into a scenario where a divorce would not be on the horizon.

We met in January, 2005. After dating exactly 1-year, my love muffin left for a 6-month trip to Australia. After both being loyal and true during that time, I personally felt in my heart that marriage could be a possibility. I made three decisions at that point of my life.

1. I started saving for a ring. Although I’m not a materialistic person by nature, I knew this would be the one piece of jewelry my love muffin would be wearing the rest of her life and it will be something that we’d be leaving for our children and grandchildren. This ring will essentially be an heirloom. Unlike a weddings that last 6 hours. This is something that will be passed on through generations.
2. I returned to school. I knew in order to better provide for my wife, I needed something stronger than a bachelor’s degree. An MBA is the most prestigious graduate degree you can earn. At some point in my life I may decide to utilize this to advance my career objectives but as of now, I have it in my back-pocket and I wanted these studies completed before any marriage could take place.
3. I bought a condo. I am strong believer that by buying property you are buying future wealth. Not to mention that I went from a place that I rented to a place where I could repaint, retouch and call my own. I wanted a place that my wife and I could live for a period of time before going graduating into a family home.

In January, 2007, I was living in the new condo, I was in the middle of classes for my MBA and I was pretty close to saving up enough money for the ring. It was at that juncture we celebrated our 2-years of dating by going on a cruise to Mexico. It was the first time we ever discussed the possibility of marriage with each other. After coming back from that trip, everyone looked at us as a couple who was engaged to be engaged.

From January 2007 – May of 2007, I did some self-exploration. I did some informal questioning of my friends, my family and even strangers on the meaning and importance of marriage. For those who knew my love muffin, I asked them what they thought of her as a suitable wife. The truth is what I already knew in my heart but the answers were reassurance. I also met with a Rabbi and joined his synagogue because my wife belonged to that same synagogue and I knew this Rabbi would be the one officiating our wedding.

Then in May of 2007, I proposed to my love muffin at her college graduation. My biggest fear was her getting a job to support our mortgage. So we decided to have a longer engagement to allow time for her to get the career going. We waited 18-months from our engagement until the day we got married. At that point she was working and all settled into our condo. I was done my MBA and we had known each other nearly 4-years. The timing was ideal. The bottom-line was that every step of this process was carefully planned and thought out.

In contrast, I know people who are impulsive. They fall into the trap of getting married because weddings are fun, you get some money, it’s cool to party and it’s a great opportunity to network. In other words “Lets scope out the bridesmaids to see who I can marry next.” It’s a way for them to feel more grown up, mature and on par with married friends. In a way you can blame the individuals for this behavior but there is also a lot of standards of society that push us to get married too.. If you are a woman in your late 30’s and you’ve never been married, the natural curiosity is “what is wrong with her?” For guys in their late 30’s who have never been married, there is no curiosity. It’s actually pretty natural for people to assume “Gee, he must be gay.”

My point is there needs to be a happy medium. People need time to let a relationships maturate before being side-tracked with wedding plans. I think it is very reasonable to date at least 1 year and be engaged for least 1 year before getting married. After two years you should have a good metric on whether this relationship may work out in the long-run. During these two years, you should not be separated by distance. I believe distance relationships can make the heart grow fonder but you need at least two years of being in the same location to give your relationship momentum, growth and nurturing.

Most importantly, I think before you are married you need to ask yourself some simple but poignant questions.

1. Am I ok with sharing my bed and home with this same person every night till the day I die? It’s a simple statement but it’s the true reality. This is the person you will be waking up next to forever.
2. Can I tolerate this person? If your spouse is OCD, or has weird hygiene habits, or likes to leave dirty dishes in the sink, or has outlandish political views, or has an annoying friend they like to hang out with, or have an overbearing mother, or snores like a horse, etc. Can you put that aside in the betterment of your marriage?
3. Do we have a strong foundation? (I.E living somewhere other than your mother-in-laws attic, finished school, have a job, have a plan, share a common goal, cohesive spiritual beliefs).

Allow me to pontificate upon one particular marriage gone so wrong that it’s literally causing me the urge to punch TLC in the face for the overexposure of minors. That’s right it’s the Jon and Kate Gosselin saga. They met in October, 2007. They were engaged and married in the span of 18-months. Kate was 24 and Jon was 22. Nine months later they were pregnant with twins and within 5 years of marriage they had sextuplets. Here are two parents who spent only a few years building their life together and now they were both under 30 years old with 8 children.

I watched the show a few times and I know it’s hard to past judgments on people when you are only seeing edited versions of their life but it was pretty easy to see the writing on the wall. Here are two young people who really can’t give a full commitment to marriage when they are constantly devoted to caring for 8 children and managing this TLC enterprise. During interview segments you can feel their tension and a strong sense of disrespect towards each other. When they separated after 10-years of marriage, I felt as though it was specifically caused by their life being carefully documented on camera. It wasn’t a healthy environment for their marriage and in truth it isn’t a healthy environment for their children who don’t know any other life other than being seen on camera.

The thought should be that this show close shop so the family can move on with their lives. Jon and Kate should get regular jobs like the rest of us and work together to properly raise these children. Better yet they can get some counseling and reconcile their own marriage. It may even be easier without cameras. This was not the case in there warped logic. Jon is off in the French Rivera having relations with a gal ten years his junior on the yacht of some worldly fashion designer. Meanwhile Kate is at home with the kids and the nannies. When Jon returned home he told reporters that he was back in town to shoot episodes for the upcoming season. What???? How about this as more caring answer “I’m home because I miss my kids and need to see them.”

It is quite evident that the show is less about chronicling the trials and tribulations of raising 8 children. It is more about this show being a cash cow so that mommy and daddy never have to work again. TLC is getting big advertiser dollars. Parlay that with a few books, merchandise and free giveaways (ala a 1.2 million dollar house nestled in Berks County). This show illustrates everything that is wrong with marriage.

I don’t profess to know everything about marriage. What I do know is both sets of my grandparents were married nearly 50 years each. My parents are on the brink of 40 years of marriage, My in-laws have been married over 30-years and they each taught me the basic “C’s, Communication, Compromise and Compassion. These values are truly evident in my marriage and should be in any marriage.

I’m not going to lie but I was uncomfortable with the magnitude and over-planning of our wedding. I thought it was over the top But in the long-run it didn’t matter as much because I took an oath. A soldier doesn’t take an oath and abandon his unit while at war much like I don’t take an oath under the chupa and abandon my marriage. It is something that is taken too lightly in society.

I love weddings but you know what I love more than weddings? Marriages.

MICHAEL JACKSON – THE UNTRIBUTE

You can’t take away the talent. It was always there. He danced with the ease of Gene Kelly and Fred Aistare. You can’t take away the longevity of a career. Nearly 40 years and several generations, he managed to captivate and cultivate audiences of every generation across the country and across the world. 13 Grammy Awards, 13 number one singles in his solo career, and the sale of 750 million records worldwide. To this day, “Thriller” is the number one selling album of all time. He revolutionized music videos and is simply the undisputed champion of entertainers of all time. There are only 7 people in the world whose death would be a more dominant media story (Barack Obama, Both Bushes, Bill Clinton, Jimmy Carter, Osama Bin Laden and The Pope). Yet, I’d like to be the contrarian that says that Michael Jackson was not the greatest soul that ever lived. He had his faults.

I recognize that it’s tough to beat a man when he is already down (or in this particular case never getting back up) but there was something real about Michael Jackson…Real Creepy. Michael Jackson was many things. Among them, a drug abuser, an irresponsible money handler who feverishly outspent his cash flows on things such as fake fatherhoods (more on that later in the blog). Most disturbing, he was a child molester, which to those of us without money means we do jail time. I recognize that he was acquitted of the charges but in this case of Michael Jackson, it doesn’t mean he wasn’t guilty of the charges. Where there is smoke, there is fire and his reputation for little boys was blazing hot for many years.

When he was accused of molestation charges in 1993, I remember thinking that it was a ploy to extort money from a very wealthy entertainer. But my thoughts quickly changed as my logic told me that an innocent man doesn’t pay $22 million dollars to someone unless he feels he isn’t guilty of something. The accusations continued in 2003 after Jackson admitted in a television interview that he sometimes sleeps in the bed of children who are not his own. This was followed by 7 more counts of child abuse charges being filed against him. A trial ensued and after lots of antics, fanfare and a bizarreness that can’t even be scripted by the most creative writers in Hollywood, Michael Jackson once again beat the charges and moved to Bahrain where he was carefully protected by members of Islam security team. He spent much of the last few years living as a recluse avoiding any media contact.

In between these earlier inappropriate acts of loving children a little too much, he tried to soften his image by getting married…twice. The first to Lisa Marie Presley, daughter of the original “King.” The whole thing stunk of publicity stunt. From the fact that the marriage took place in a foreign country, where records can not be verified, to the timeliness of it around his child molestation charges, to the blatantly scripted kiss on the MTV Movie Awards show. My guess is that it was a quixotic marriage filled with a platonic understanding. Had it been a marriage filled with passion and romance, babies would have been born. After two years, the farce marriage ended but the friendship remained.

In 1997, Jackson married again. This time to his longtime dermatologist, Debbie Rowe. She bore two children for him but as we now learned, neither of the children are his or Debbies. It was an anonymous sperm donor and egg donor (sometimes known as test tube babies). Rowe served as surrogate, at which she was compensated very handsomely for her efforts of labor. When they divorced, she had no problem relinquishing her parental rights to Jackson. Why would she, there is no DNA of hers whatsoever in those kids. In essence, Michael purchased these children. He could have easily adopted but he chose to lead the public in believing he loved his wife and that they procreated together. What other explanation can there be? He later mysteriously had another child with another woman. Who knows who she is and whether Michael actually used his own sperm this time. My guess is that the mother will step forward and try to claim this child when she finds out how much the child is worth.

Some people may be disturbed with Michaels spending habits. The man died with $400 million dollars in debt. I couldn’t spend that much money even if I tried. It is estimated that it cost $55,000 a day to keep the Neverland Ranch active for the many boys and girls hoping to be…hmm…touched by Michael Jacksons amusement experience. The truth is that he does have a lot of financial liabilities but he also has a lot of assets. He ruthlessly outbid Paul McCartney for the publishing rights to the Beatles, he owned several homes and the residuals on his own music put his wealth in the billions. I’m not one to point fingers at spending as I’m constantly struggling to keep my own debts to a manageable levels but I’m also not out buying monkeys, ferris wheels or childrens’ silence. According to Jackson’s former financial advisor, the singer spent $8 million annually on plane charters, antiques, paintings, hotel rooms, travel and other personal expenses.

Then there is the drug usage. You know that thing that ultimately took his life at age 50. There is tremendous speculation on what he took, when he took it and how often he took it but the bottom-line is that he did take something, took them often and it ultimately killed him. Blame it on the stress of celebrity, maybe give some blame to the abuse he took as child from Papa Jackson or blame it on his addictive personality. The truth is Jackson was addicted to many types of prescribed drugs and his doctors / friends ultimately were his enablers. I will never know what its like to have that sort of addiction but one thing I’m pretty sure about is that I have a family and support of friends that would have intervened and saved me before imminent death.

Lastly, let’s discuss these “friends of Michael Jackson.” Seems as though many of these people are coming forward after his death. Wait till they start writing books. Where were they when he really needed their help? The irony is not one single friend wants to recognize Jackson’s history of child molestation, nor recognize his illegitimate marriages or illegitimate children. To them, Jackson is not only the greatest entertainer to ever live (something I can’t dispute or discredit) but Jackson was also the greatest person to ever live. How could Jackson who was so lonely in his own skin, a man so eccentric, a man who possessed the most idiosyncratic behavior while abusing himself and others not surround himself with people many people who wouldn't direct him to safer grounds. These friends are now coming out of the woodwork but not one of them cared enough to save him from his missteps.

Michael Jackson is one of a kind figure. There is no one better and maybe no one who will ever be better in entertaining the masses. His music is truly a treasure. I am also a fan of his career. But we must not forget that just because someone dies, we should not recognize that their life wasn't just one simple equation but rather it should be measured by the sum of all parts. In Jacksons case it was filled with shame, torture and demons that eventually led to the death of a true American icon.

Secrets Businesses Don’t Want You To Know – Part 3

Secrets Businesses Don’t Want You To Know – Part 3

The Rainout Revenue

Is there anything more frustrating then going to a baseball game while it’s cold and rainy? We are living in a new climatic time in our world’s history. Due to global warming and the permanent destruction of our weather cycles, we now experience brisk temperatures, snow flurries and rain up until mid-May. This means that playing baseball outdoors in Philadelphia is simply not conducive. This is not a complaint as it’s more a documented fact. Two games have been postponed so far this season with undoubtedly more to come..

So why is it a big deal? In 2001, plans were being made and ideas were being shared on where to put the new ballpark in Philly and what should the design look like. Don’t get me wrong, the finished product (birth 2004) is spectacular. We now celebrate its 5^th year (hard to believe) and it is perhaps one of the top 5 baseball stadiums around the country (depending on what publication you read). My qualm isn’t with the stadium itself. My problem is with the sneakiness of Phillies brass in agreeing on its design. For the $346 million dollars spent on this thing, we could have put a roof on the darn thing. I’m still bitter today. But as you will see in my blog that a rainout is actually good for business.

The traditionalist would say that baseball should be played outdoors. I’d like to think that Abner Doubleday had that same philosophy when he created baseball in 1839. However he didn’t count on America puking out on our environment thus causing the new April to be the Old December. He also wasn’t counting on the extra money lining the pockets of the rich white men in suits quietly building their fortunes in our new venue. Here’s the truth this business doesn’t want you to know…Rainouts are good for business.

Let me explain how. Every Major League baseball team is guaranteed 81 home games. In the Phillies case, we added 2 pre-season (I.E. On Deck Series). So that’s 83 games. But let’s not forgot the other 4 games a year, where it rains pregame, fans make purchases and then the game in cancelled. Something that could be avoided with an indoor baseball park. According to Team Marketing Report, an average baseball fan spends $100 at a game. If you calculate the revenue from tickets sales, parking, concessions and merchandises for 45,000 plus fans each night, you are looking at a cool $4.5 million a night.

Now let’s calculate the rainouts? Why? Because fans still show up, park their cars and buy overpriced ponchos in the team store while they wait 2 hours under the doomed concessions until Dan Baker breaks the news that tonight’s Phillies game has been postponed due to the weather. Minus ticket sale revenues, Phillies still likely chalk up $2.5 million at those rain-soaked games. Plus those tickets can now be used on a new date where more parking, food and merchandise can be purchased. I have personally estimated that the Phillies capitalize on the misfortunes of the weather and rake in about $10 million in revenue from rainouts a season. That’s $250million in rainout revenue in the 25-year lease of the stadium. Good for them, waste of time and money for you.

My philosophy is spend an extra $250 million to protect your fans from April snow showers and prevent the juggling of schedules simply to add another day of revenue. I would even be in favor of the retractable roof that opens up to let the August sunshine seep through. In total there are 7 teams in baseball who don’t have to worry about home games being rained out. It’s hard to compare cost estimates to building an indoor park as most were built in the late 90’s and early 00’s. But to me it’s irrelevant. My point is that Phillies are making a ton of money on games that aren’t being played.

This is the part of my blog where I offer solutions. The truth is I like our new ballpark and as a season ticket holder, I love the team. I recognize building a new stadium after five years is not feasible and complaining about the weather is not constructive. So here’s my alternative. When it’s raining all afternoon, save your fans the time and money and call the games earlier. In the case of the rain catching you in the middle of the game, do your loyal fans a favor and discount the parking next time out. I recognize it cost money to pay parking staff but you can at least give a rebate for postponed games. It’ll at least show that you care without severely ruining your $10 million dollar annual rainout revenue.

To the Phillies credit, they did honor the parking at both parts of the Game 5 World Series. But the cynic in me says that seven home playoff games at higher ticket prices definitely softened up the Phillies’ executives hearts.

So that’s how business is done. After all, this is a business and as I stated numerous times in my blogs, the goal of a business is to generate revenue. Next time the Phillies flinch at signing a player for $2.5 million dollars, we can justifiably say, that’s 1 rainout revenue.

Part 2 of Secrets Businesses Don’t Want You To Know

When Is A Sale Really a Sale?

The answer is never. This is due to the commercialization of America. Allow me to briefly describe the anatomy of a product and then next time you walk into a Best Buy, Home Depot and or Bloomingdales you’ll feel like you’ll have better knowledge on how that product came to be and how the sale tactic is a ploy.

A widget (generic term used for a product unit) is often made in some developing nation like Sri Lanka, Rwanda, Djibouti (pronounced The Booty. Sorry, I couldn’t contain myself). This widget is made by poor families or in sadder cases, small children for what can be equivalent to a few American pennies. These widgets are shipped over to well-developed importers across the US, whom pay import tax fees (sometimes. Grease payments other times), inspect the quality of the goods (if we are lucky) and keep adequate inventory on wholesale items. These items are then shopped around to different retail stores around our great country. Essentially the US-based importing plants are the middle men between the widgets makers that were paid pennies to the US stores that make a lot more then that in profit. The true value of the widget is what these stores make above the cost from the importer.

Now here’s where the plot thickens. A long time ago (i.e. 15-20 years ago), America was flooded with tons of Mom and Pop kind of neighborhood stores. This made it easier for import dealers to do business with lots of different shop owners. Now times have changed. We no longer have 25,000 hardware stores in our country. We now essentially have three (Home Depot, ACE and Lowes). We no longer have 25,000 book stores in our country. Now we have basically two (Borders and Barnes and Noble). This is a another story for another time but my point is that import dealers have less negotiating power. If they want to sell an item they must bow to the demands of large commercial industries. There is actually a fascinating documentary called “Wal*Mart—the High Cost of Low Price.” It discusses how Walmart bullies importers into dropping their price otherwise they won’t sell their widgets in their stores thus limiting the sale opportunity for importers. This is actually the reason why Walmart and Target keep prices lower then most other places. They bully prices and keep carry higher inventory. Good for the customer, not so good for small business owners who don’t have has much leverage on importers.

SO ABOUT THE SALE?
Here’s how they work you over. This aspect is simpler to follow. The store buys 500 units of said widget from importer. Since it’s cheaper to buy in bulk, the price works out to $50 a widget for the store. That store then sells that same widget to you, the customer for $100. Now most of us are savvy enough to look online before going to the store to buy so there needs to be an incentive for the store to get you in your car to come and buy in person. So they hang a sign and say “25% off.” If you are lucky that means you can get a $100 widget for $75 but in most cases its not even that favorable.

YOU ARE GETTING RIPPED OFF
In most cases, the store will raise the price of that product a few weeks or a few months prior. Then they put up their sale signs. You think you are getting a bargain but in reality you are just paying the regular store price. If you want to go even further to analyze, you are paying probably 80% more then what it costs to physically make this product overseas. But I digress.

You don’t believe my sale analysis? Bed Bath and Beyond are the kings of this practice. They may spend millions of dollars each year flooding our mailboxes with their endless 20% off coupons but in the long run it creates hundreds of dollars in revenue for the company. People are led to believe that they are saving money when in reality the store simply adds at least 25% to cost of their products. Everyone wins. You feel like you are saving money (when you really aren’t) and the store just got you in their doors. They are making a profit on everything you buy. Don’t believe me. Try going to Bed Bath and Beyond without your 20% off coupon. Better yet, go there with an expired coupon. It doesn’t matter. You can go in there and just say “I know someone who knows someone who knows someone else that had a coupon. Can I get the same deal? They won’t say no because sales are not designed for stores to lose money.

That’s just one example. Many other places are the same. When a car dealership has a holiday sale and you buy your $25,000 car for $20,000, you may feel good about your savings but that dealership really paid $10,000 for that same car from the importers. They paid even less if it’s an American made car. Furthermore the car was priced at $20,000 a few months before they had the sale. They only recently up-charged it to $25,000 to make you feel like you got a deal at $20,000. Some call this a smart business approach. I call it disingenuous. The truth lies somewhere in the middle. The goal of a business is to create profit. The one exception to this rule may be liquidations but the whole point of a liquidation is to sell everything because the store is going out of business. Maybe because the reason is their sales suckedJ

As we learned in this blog, sales are not to favor the customer. The origin of the sale can include the birth of the widget in a developing nation by the utilization of cheap labor, importers shopping widgets around, the existence of large commercial companies, the bullying tactics of these companies and the misperceptions of the point of a sale. Welcome to America. The land of opportunity.

SECRETS BUSINESSES DON'T WANT YOU TO KNOW - PART 1

If I wanted to know something about a song, I may ask a musician. If I was interested on the design of a house, I may ask an architect. I’ve been working and studying the world of business for quite awhile now and I want to uncover a few dirty secrets that companies don’t want you to know about. I will disclose that these tactics ARE legal and they don’t violate any laws except preying on the foolishness of their customers. The first thing we are taught in any basic business class is that the goal of any company is to make a profit.

THE GYM MEMBERSHIP
According to the International Health, Racquet and Sportsclub Association (IHRSA), 32.8 million Americans belong to a gym. That’s roughly 11 out of every 100 people. A sad sentiment if you consider that we are one of the unhealthiest countries in the world buts that’s a different topic for another time.

There are 29,000 gyms in the US and it is a $700 million dollar a year business. We are talking big bucks here. In the late 1980’s Boxing Gyms and YMCAS were being outperformed by places like Golds, LA Fitness, 24 Hour Fitness, Ballys and others. The perception is that more gyms would equal more fit Americans but that is far from the truth. More Gyms actually meant more money lining the pockets of wealthy gym owners. Good for them bad for you.

Let me explain how this works. Mr "X" buys a Gym in your local neighborhood. They recognize that their gym can only handle 250 people at any given time. One would think that they would only issue 250 gym memberships. The reality is that owner’s membership capacity is infinite. We must first recognize that not all 250 people will be working out at the same time. We must also recognize that Americans join a gym with the intention of working out frequently but that frequent work out turns to an occasional workout then it turns into a rare workout and eventually ends as no workout. It’s human nature. We get bored, we don’t see immediate effects and we simply don’t find the time.

This brings me to the ultimate dirty secret. Gym owners don’t care about fitness. They just want your credit card. Obviously these owners are bright enough to know that you simply are not going to stick to frequent workouts. After you initially register, the gym owners could care less if you ever walk through that door again. Why? Because they have your credit card and they know you will hold your membership despite not using their facilities. Thus you become an ideal member. You become a steady revenue stream that is unengaged to the gym and your infrequent visits allow them a bigger capacity to recruit more people whom they hope will give up on the workout too. It’s how they grow their business.

This is where I answer your question, "Where is the proof?" Example 1: When I joined a gym a few years ago, I asked them to send me an invoice for my $35 monthly fee. They refused. They said "for my convenience they wanted my credit card. That way they can deduct each month and I wouldn’t have to worry." Translation. If I stopped working out and still received invoices, I wouldn’t pay. This would ultimately lead to an unprofitable business model for the gym. Instead I paid my fee and worked out three times a week. I did this for 3 months. Then I worked out twice a week for 3 months. Then I worked out once a week for three months. Then I realized that I didn’t have the time. So I cancelled my membership. Except they even made that process as difficult as possible so they can milk a few more months out of you before your cancellation is confirmed.

I happen to be diligent with those things. My roommate at the time was not. He joined the same gym at the same time as me. This was almost 4-years ago. Last week he called me and asked how he could drop his membership from this club. I said to him "You are still working out there?" He said he has only gone 3 times in the past 4 years. I then did the calculation. He spent $1680 in membership fees in the past 4 years. He has worked out three times. That means he averages $560 every time he has used the gym. Now how dumb is that?

Not as dumb as you think. You may say why doesn’t he look at his credit card statements each month and cancel earlier.?There are two main reasons why he didn’t and for that matter many others don’t check. Firstly, CNN Money reports that the average American has $8,000 to $10,000 worth of credit card debt. When you have so much revolving debt you lose focus on what’s on your bill and you become trained on making minimum payments thus accruing pointless purchases like gym memberships that you don’t utilize. The other reason why a person never drops their membership is that they truly believe they are going to get back to frequent workouts. That almost never happens but by cancelling your gym membership you are pyscologically saying to yourself "that you are giving up." As dumb as it may sound, even if you hardly workout, you can always feel better in a conversation when you say "I belong to a gym" even though you can’t follow-up that remark by saying …"and I go often."

In a way I am committing a similar infraction. I personally pay $1000 a year to belong to a synagogue but I only go twice a year. In my case it may sound like $500 per visit but here are the differences. I pay my $1000 with the full intent on not going to synagogue often. I view it as a charitable donation to keep the Jewish community around me alive and vibrant. I know it’s a non-profit organization that will enable me to write off my membership as a tax write-off each year as opposed to giving a really smart business man my credit card and telling them to charge that card every month until I get off my lazy butt and cancel.

In conclusion, I will say that I have since joined a new gym. I still have my credit card charged each month but I know that the day I stop going, I will remember to cancel my membership. I applaud the savvy model of the gym owner. Its a very profitable venture but when I walk in the door and they are offering me add-ons or promoting bagel / pizza nights at the gym, I know its more about bringing in membership and less about getting America healthy.

I LOVE OPRAH

...and why shouldn't I? Yes, I understand I'm a guy. Yes, I understand Oprah is all about women, fashion and women-power. But over the last few years, Oprah has been a transcendent figure and the number one place for the exclusive to tell all. Plus she endorsed Obama early on and America never says "No to Oprah."

Seriously though Oprah is one of the top interviewers in the media today. She is fearless in her questioning.

But lets get back to why a heterosexual guy can possibly like Oprah. She is compelling, interesting, topical, in-touch, and credibled. I recently saw her interview Faith Hill and Tim McGraw. Oprah manages to make grown men cry with dignity. She likes to bring out everyones soft and delicate side.

Oprah makes me want to read. I hear her talk about books and it makes me want to go out and buy them. Really, before Oprah I didn't read at all.

Oprah makes me think about the world I live in. She hits subjects that are so real. Important issues like hunger, abuse, family issues and socio-economic issues.

Oprah brings out the best and worst of people. If you are scum, she'll expose you. If you did something honorable she reward you while still helping you to maintain your humbleness.

Oprah has great experts on her show. They all put things in perspectives and make me think just a little harder. Doctors, Writers and Fitness Guru's. All whom have perfected their crafts.

Oprah gives shit away. Sometimes its a DVD, sometimes its a laptop and sometimes its a car. Just get invited to the right show and you might get lucky.

Oprah has a lot of money. But she earns every last bit of it.

Did I also mention that I think Oprah is sexy?

I LOVE OPRAH

OUTTA HERE!!

Outta Here!! How could two words mean so much to so many people? Its such a simple phrase echoed by so many people around the Philadelphia region but the irony of it all is that the one person who uttered it the most is now in fact "outta here" and its simply hard to believe.

I confess that besides seeing my love muffin for the first time on our wedding day, my single greatest life moment came on October 29th, 2008. There I stood with four of my closest friends on a blustery evening in a neighborhood near Manayunk. We were five grown men who have quenched the thirst of a sports championship since we were toddlers. As poetic as a Robert Frost poem came the words we long to hear "struck him out. The Philadelphia Phillies are 2008 World Champions of Baseball." It was a great substitute for "Outta Here."



In that moment of time my senses became frozen, my eyes welded in tears and I was not sure how to celebrate. I was just overcome with so much joy and happiness to seize that moment with friends. For me , the moment will forever be captured by the kodak of my mind. It will never be forgotten and branded in me until the day I die.

For another man it was a culmination of his career. For this man had transmitted tens of thousands of moments from over 6000 games. This man did his job and did it well for 44-years and thankfully lived long enough realize his own special moment. The man, Harry Kalas, left this earth yesterday afternoon and I'm not sure how to grieve much like I didn't know how to celebrate after his winning call only months ago. Its an odd dynamic. He is the closest family member whom I have never met.

Every Phillies fan over the age of 15 knows that the voice of Harry Kalas is as calming as the waves on the beach on a typical summer day. Its more than a metaphor but its the reality we knew. Nothing goes better together not even pancakes and syrup. His voice was candy for the ear and I was so happy to be a part those experiences.

Over the last few years, Harry had not been healthy. He was 73-years-old, had some recent medical issues, was constantly traveling, had a past history with cigarettes and alcohol. That doesn't mean his death wasn't sudden. One minute he is preparing for a broadcast, the next minute he is being rushed to a hospital. Then within in a hour his life is gone. That quick, that precious, that tragic and we never got to say goodbye.

As I reflect on the 2008 World Series, I remember the key hits and key plays that made it possible but the thing that will always be in my soul is the final call from Harry Kalas. A man who not only had the pipes to soothe ones heart on a crisp summer day but a man whose class far exceeded his achievements.

Harry, heros live forever but legends never die. Thank you for the greatest memory a super-obsessed 30-year-old sports fan can ever imagine.


***Thanks to Brandon Rubenstein for capturing this championship moment on audio. Go to his website to hear me and my friends talk and celebrate the last 2 minutes of game 5. You'll hear Harrys Legendary Call.
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