THE PIANO PICTURES OF LIFE

I apologize for my long delay in writing. This blog is my canvass for laying out my opinions and thoughts. I try to always put a positive spin on things but over the past few months there have been some life-altering events that have rocked my world. At the time of these events, my emotions were too raw to express in words. I choose to take a breath and allow time to be my vehicle to gather my deepest thoughts and put it into a writing prose.

These life-altering events all fall under the common theme of Life Cycles. I hope you can stick with me through my philosophical view of what can be often deemed a mundane subject. One of the most often used phrases of all time is “There are two guarantees in life; Death and Taxes.” I have a slightly different saying that excludes any references to the IRS. My saying goes like this:

There are two guarantees in life, Birth and Death. It is what you do in between those events that really matters.

Life is often measured in milestones and stepping stones. We are born, we learn to walk, we learn to master the use of the toilet, we learn the alphabet, we graduate from various schools, we have our first kiss, we learn to drive, go to college, get married, have kids of our own, master the art of canasta and eventually die. Not all in that order. In my family, there is order to all of these achievements…until recently. I think many of you who are close to me know where this blog is going but I feel as though it will be more crystallized after hearing about my personal anecdote.

My father plays the piano. Since as long as I can recall, my dad would strum away on the piano that sat in our family’s living room and I would sing a long. Sometimes my brother would sing too (until he became too cool for it). We tried to keep my mom and sister out of it for musical purposes. Above the piano hung three symmetrical pictures. One was of my brother as a young child, one was of my sister as a young child and the other was of me as a young child. It was in chronologic order. In 1987, my brother’s childhood picture was replaced with his Bar-Mitzvah picture. Four years later, my sister’s picture was replaced with her Bat-Mitzvah picture. The following year, my picture was replaced with my Bar-Mitzvah picture. Everything was in order and it was my parent’s way of documenting our life cycles.

In 2002, my sister was married to her childhood friend. Thus her Bat-Mitzvah picture became her wedding picture. Subsequently, my brother was married in 2004 and his Bar-Mitzvah picture became his wedding picture. For the next year or so, my Bar-Mitzvah picture looked odd next to the two wedding pictures. So Mom and Dad replaced my picture with the one of me and Pamela (My then girlfriend/ eventual wife). We were only dating for 8-9 months at the time but I guess my parents had a strong intuition.

As an aside, I recall my in-laws coming to my parent’s house for the first time and their eyes were immediately drawn to the “Piano Pictures of Life.” I think they felt that being positioned next to two wedding pictures gave me and Pamela’s picture a more suggestive outcome. Never the less, we were married in 2008 and the suggestive picture was replaced with the real wedding day photo. In my parent’s eyes, the “Piano Pictures of Life” came to a full revolution. Everything was as it should be. Complete quid pro quo.

A few weeks ago, we learned that my sister’s pictured marriage was shattered…metaphorically speaking. Without going into great detail, her husband decided to leave her after 9 years of marriage. It has left an enormous hole in my sister’s heart and has left the rest of us quite befuddled on how this can occur. My maternal grandparents were married over 50 years, my paternal grandparents were also married over 50 years, my parents are married over 40 years. These things don’t happen to our family.

As hard as it was for me to wrap my head around this event it didn’t truly sink in until two days later when I walked into my parent’s home. “The Piano Pictures of Life” had been changed. My brother’s wedding picture stayed up as did mine. My sister’s picture came down. My sister sat in the other room in a pool of tears and my young niece was asking why Mommy and Daddy’s wedding picture disappeared from above the piano. It was hard to contain myself. I went to the bathroom, had a bit of a cry and returned to the piano area, where my sister and my parents sat with a gloom that I have never seen before in my life. I can’t even begin to put it in words.

The point of my story is that every family has their own little way of recognizing life cycles. Our family seemed to celebrate life’s progression through pictures above the piano in our parent’s house. Who knew that sometimes life can regress too?

It seems as though Mom and Dad have recently filled that space with a picture of their 4 adorable grandchildren. It does seem to radiate some more joy around the piano. I suppose one day my sister will learn to smile again and I’m positive she’ll find that same love and joy she put forth in her nine year marriage. I look forward to that day when a new picture emerges. I can see my Dad playing the piano, looking above and knowing that the “Piano Pictures of Life” have once again been restored in perfect harmony.